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fifth april.

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let's chase the summer and forget the world.

my last post was about how i was enjoying unemployment, well this unemployment has lasted for almost one month now, rather fast haha but yeah i think im addicted to it and i know its really bad but i dont really care- for now anyway. uni applications are getting on my nerves ok at least this week i did most of the things already. monday i went with xianhuan to certify stuff and oh thurs i went to NTU itself to submit appraisal letter cause mr nah told them i'll be going down personally, thank goodness my mother was available to drive me there, i really do not like going there, changing buses and everything, and the super crowded jurong point and its new extension and its huge bus interchange.

i was on msn a couple of days ago and one of my classmates' nickname was this: i thought pre-As was bad enough, but now POST-As isnt any better-.-

totally agree with that????? i freaking hate it that till today i am still as indecisive as ever. EVER. actually the only thing i do not want is to regret.

UNI :@:@:@:@:@ is frigging irritating. with all the interviews coming up after admission applications, i do not know if its for the better or worse.

and uni. a whole new cycle all over again. i used to be rather anticipating it like dont mind but now the thought of studying/mugging, even worse, with people you barely know and who may not even be NICE....... i just hope the next 4 months last as long as they can. and did i say 4?

we are halfway through the longest holidays we will ever get. all the way till retirement.

not ready to grow up. i guess everyone has to grow up at some point in their lives. maybe they were all not ready to. but well eventually they did. i guess we will, too.

where are all the little joys in my life???? i realised SADLY that sometimes when i laugh i dont really laugh. more like a forced laugh. but its not fake, as in i truly think its FUNNY but i just cant laugh. i would like to know what kind of syndrome is this??? and i get frustrated like damn easily these days. few things can make me feel happy like how it used to be. i think i may be due to im spending less time with my friends. maybe?

and i REALLY HATE writing essays. i do not know any idea that has intrigued me, maybe i do, but i cant think it up from nowhere. and i applied for random things, i do not know FOR WHAT SHIT reason but at that point in time i thought i wanted it. back to the issue of being freaking goddamn indecisive . and now i dont even think i WANT it?????? then whats the point of torturing myself going for interviews for stuff i dont even think i want. but the problem is i dont even know if i really dont think i want. my god... i really wonder what sort of mind do i have

seriously, i thought i was done with saying LIFE SUCKS